JUST GET ME HOME!!!

Jun22

The guy behind was so close to my bumper I could almost see the color of his eyes! Granted, I was in the left hand lane, but I had a car in front of me and several beside me, so there wasn’t much I could do. I fumed. I honestly thought about hitting my brakes but figured he was so close it might dent my bumper. Besides, we were doing 49 in a 45 mph zone! What was he thinking?? I saw my right turn coming up, so I had to maneuver my way into the right lane, which made me more irritable, knowing he thought I was doing it so he could pass. Never. As he sped by, I have to say my thought was, maybe there’s a cop up ahead. Suddenly that inner voice spoke to my heart. Oh, brother. I had brought it on myself. “Did you even wonder if perhaps he was trying to get to the hospital, or had a really good reason?” Of course not. Then I remembered a morning driving fast to the local hospital, wondering if I would be too late, and our precious grandson, just born, would not have made it. What if that man was in a predicament like that? Ok–confession and repentance time.

Five minutes later. I take a quick glance at a lady in her yard, and pray, “Lord, please don’t let me weigh that much some day!” He spoke again….”Remember when your mom and dad were coming down to FL, and there wasn’t anything in the cupboards but a can of corn? Your family could only buy spaghetti, pasta, beans, and biscuits! Not easy to stay slim on high carbs, and you didn’t–do you remember?” Oh, yes, I did. I had judged again. Within a few minutes. Confession, repentance.

“Good grief! I can’t believe her mom let her go outside in shorts that looked … well… worse than indecent,” I thought as a mom and her teenager walked into a store. “Maybe she hasn’t had the benefit of a godly upbringing, and is looking for attention,” He said to my heart. Oh, yes–I had judged again. Back to confession, back to the Cross.

Can I not go a few minutes without sinning, Lord?? Apparently not. I thought of the woman who was going to be stoned for adultery, and how Jesus said, “Go and sin no more.” (John 8:11). I’ve often wondered, did He mean “big” ones or all? Yikes. I would have had to laid down in the dirt and stayed there.

Having run all my errands, of which there were many, I came out of the last department store, excited about my purchases. Finding room for the packages was a challenge, but finally they were in, and I was pouring sweat. A temperature of ninety in Virginia feels like 110 in FL, and the sun was beating down. The car felt like it was120 degrees inside, but I turned the key for a/c. Nothing. No “click,” no rat-a-tat-a-tat, nothing. Not a light bulb lit, just deafening silence. Not good. I had just driven fifty miles, and it was fine! No, to answer your unspoken question, I really did not even think of yelling, “Praise the Lord!” I felt like kicking the car, but had too much respect for it to do so. My daughter would know what to do–she runs an auto parts store, and what she doesn’t know would fit on the head of a pin. Most men assume differently. Great, she’s driven an hour and half away, to another town; my husband is in FL, so I call my daughter-in-law to come try to jump the car. She does, it doesn’t. Obviously I need a lesson in patience, in gratefulness (it didn’t happen at a stop light), and probably a dozen other lessons.

AAA later, at home, in air conditioning, now almost seven and I get lunch… or was it breakfast? Does yogurt count for breakfast? This day has come, and as the Bible says so clearly “it came to pass,” and pass it finally has. I thought once about buying a wooden cross and tacking my sins up on it, one by one, but I can clearly see that the cross would have to be massive to hold them all. Yet He would do it again, just for me. Just for you.

Thank God, He did. Thank You for the cross, Lord. Thank You for the love, when I was dead in my sins and trespasses. Amen

GOING AROUND THE BEND

Jun2

The dust on the road made little “poofs” as I jogged down the path, no one but me in my world at the moment. I had not alarmed the birds, who continued to sing, and I could hear squirrels as they scratched in the leaves trying to bury a late acorn–or perhaps find one. I loved being alone, soaking in the beauty, and watching the creek, out of sight on the left, gurgle over the rocks as it went its merry way. How can everything not be alright in a world like this? The day was made to be enjoyed!

I slowed to a walk to savor every moment, knowing it would come to an end soon and I would have to return to my parked car, go finish my errands, and head home. Back to the computer, back to the business, back to the “daily grind.” But wait–first let me continue long enough to see what lies around the bend in the road! Anything this peaceful has to have a happy ending.

I decided to walk lighter, not making any more noise than possible, almost tiptoeing. Why? Maybe gut instinct, which had kicked in! I had no idea how far the path continued, but time seemed to have stood still for these precious moments. As I got closer to the bend, I was still soaking in the peace that permeated the scene. And then I rounded the curve, to the unseen. There, sitting quietly beside the path, about 100 feet in front of me, sat a mama bear, with two small cubs playing happily; after all, Mama was there to keep them protected. I stopped, backed up, and rounded the bend I had just traversed, and then flew on feet that would have won a marathon back to my car. I didn’t take that nanosecond to look back to see if she had been as alarmed as I, and was giving chase. I fumbled my automatic door key, but finally hit the right button. She was not behind me–all that fear, and nothing was chasing me.

I could not help but make the spiritual analogy: it’s part of who I am. How often do we think we can handle what might be around that next step in life, when we can’t see? May we never be so arrogant that we think we can go into any situation, not knowing the outcome, unless He is leading us there to do some work for him. We have no idea what lies ahead, but “He orders our steps (Psalms)” and leads us–unless we’re set on going our own way. Then He does not stop us, but let’s us proceed until eventually we get so lost, or so in conflict that we turn back and ask Him the way.

I pray I always go no further than God leads me. He has always BEEN faithful, therefore He will always BE faithful! If I am trusting Him with my eternity, how is it that I can’t trust Him with today, here, in this “nasty now and now”? Life isn’t always about beautiful paths and peaceful scenes: sometimes–ofttimes–it’s about the bears. But He is all we need. Is He all you need?

Dearest Father, when our hearts are so heavy that we cannot lift them, we think of the beautiful Psalm, now a song: ” Many there be which say of my soul, there is no help for him in God! But, Thou, O Lord, are a shield for me; my glory and the lifter of my head [and my heart!]! (Psalm 3:2,3). Thank You for what You did for me on Calvary–thank You for the scars in Your hands and feet, and what they represent. Thank You for making Yourself so lowly and humble that You left heaven for us, who are so sinful! Thank You for the cross, Lord! Amen

JUST WHEN I NEED HIM MOST!

May10

You may not have been raised “old school” where the hymns were the basic doctrine for almost all of one’s theology, but if you were, you know there was (is) a hymn for every situation! My son once said, “No matter what I do, you have a Bible verse for it!” Believe me, that was not meant as a compliment! But there truly seemed to be an old hymn for however one was feeling and you would find yourself humming or singing the one that fit your mood! “What A Friend,” “The Old Rugged Cross..” so many great hymns. This week God reinforced the beautiful one that said “just when I need Him most!”

My son-in-law posted that he had had a week of four Mondays… someone else said he was about the fourth person they had heard that from–and I made a fifth! Do you have those weeks, when it seems as if every day brings a crisis, an unexpected bill, a sickness, or worse, a dry, spiritual river bottom, rather than a flowing stream? Your prayers don’t seem to go through the ceiling, and God seems silent. Not a good week.

But He knows our weakness, and oh! the reassurance in the reminder that “He knows our frame; He remembers that we are but dust!” (Psalm 103:14). He hasn’t moved one inch… He’s just waiting for–well, what? Us to get quiet? To draw near to Him? To get to the end of our frayed rope? To call upon Him in the day of trouble? Yes, these and more!

One Monday after another for four days, and then suddenly, like a flower opening in the sunshine, He sends down some blessings to remind me–and you–how special we are to Him. Like a child who comes to you in loving obedience, and suddenly you forget the misdemeanors for the love, just as suddenly you forget the faithlessness of wondering if He really cares as you bask in the love that He’s showing. Problems that were stressing me all week disappeared as He acted: sending answers to prayers that had been fervent all week. And I wonder, why did I doubt that He would? I am so often truly a “double-minded man [woman], unstable..” in so many ways! And yet He remains faithful. Again I rest in the Scripture: just because I am faithless, does not make HIM unfaithful! (2 Tim 2:13.)

We serve an Awesome God! One Who has our best interests at heart, but is not persuaded to act when it’s too early, just because we are stressed. His answers come “just when we need Him most!” And when they do, we forget the pain, for the gift of life that has come again to us! (John 16:21, with apologies to John for taking it slightly out of context!) He has answered with love and kindness, miracles that are so special they show me they are “Love Notes” directly from the heart of God–straight to my path.

Forgive me when I waver, Lord! Keep me on the straight and narrow path, even when the world tempts me to get busy and forget my first responsibility is to hunger and thirst for You, O Lord! Thank You for Your love, Lord, and thank You for the Cross! Amen

GOOD INTENTIONS!

Apr28

Do you ever get mixed up on the days? Perhaps you think it’s Wednesday, and it’s Thursday… or you date something with the month that just passed, and you’re suddenly feeling, “Where is time going!”?? It’s not just a senior-moment thing, it’s an every age, busy thing! We cram so much into our days that we’re living 36-hours in twenty-four.

All that to say it seems as though I just wrote, but here it is, almost two weeks! Two weeks, and I have to ask myself, what have I done for my Lord in the past two weeks besides go to church? Has anyone been impacted in a positive way for Christ? How about a negative way? Possibly–although I hate to admit it. Life is going by at the speed of light, and each second that ticks away on the clock behind me is one second I’m closer to eternity. How about you? Does it effect you like that?

I get up and mean to make the day count, but work interferes. Have you found that it stops you from doing a lot of things you’d like to do? But we’re locked into it, and nothing except time or catastrophe will end the work life of most people. And the family–when work is over, you have to spend time with the family, right? That’s a chunk of time. You start cutting the “pie” clock into slices, and see that there isn’t much left when all the priorities are cut. And again we have to ask, what was done for Christ?

Unless you’re in full-time ministry, there’s little time to make an impact on someone’s life. We’ve lived for eleven years in this house; except for taking Christmas cookies one time to the next door neighbors, that’s the extent of our knowledge of them. They never pull out of their driveways for church, so that probably means they are unbelievers, or at the least, back-slidden. I’ll probably have to answer for that in Heaven, and I doubt “busy-ness” will be an excuse.

What’s the remedy? I don’t know. We all are caught up in our job, whether it’s 40 or 60 hours a week (mine is 60), trying to run a home, interact with the family–whether they are still at home or living nearby with grandchildren–and do the errands that all that entails. Is there an answer? Are we in such a fast-paced world that time has gotten completely away from us? Perhaps. But there is an urgency in the air now, one that says we can’t keep on with such an ungodly society, with such withdrawl from those we don’t know that we are not even a testimony to those around us. Why would my neighbors think I care about them, when I don’t even make time for them?

Not much encouragement here, is there? But if you are breathing, it’s not too late! We can start, and that start can begin NOW. I’m not sure how–just a note that takes 5 minutes to tell someone “thank you,” “I’m sorry,” or encourage them in some way.

God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22,23), and we have a fresh start–let’s use it today to make a difference!

TO SIN OR NOT TO SIN–THAT IS THE QUESTION!

Apr16

Memories keep events alive in our minds, don’t they? Flashbacks will come if the right terminology, situation, person or thing passes your vision or ear! This morning as I was reading in 1 John 1, he writes in verse 8 that if we say we do not sin we tell a lie: you can’t get much plainer than that. However, it reminded me of several years ago: I was talking to my then-pastor, and made the comment, “There’s never a day goes by that I don’t manage to commit several sins!” He looked totally horrified. “What?!” he exclaimed, as if he himself would never do that, nor even think of doing that! I sat quite stunned, wondering where he was spiritually.

Just this morning, deep in work and concentration, my phone rang. My husband was calling just to say hi; he was driving to an appointment, and decided that was a great thing to do with his time on the road (we won’t go into the logistics of cell phones here!) After we hung up, I was “upset.” That’s a woman’s word for furious, but sounds much nicer. Did he not realize I would be trying to take advantage of every second of the morning to get computer work done–work that is not only necessary but time consuming, mentally challenging, and with tons of deadlines? How could he be so thoughtless! BOOM! God lowered the conviction and I breathed deeply, as my mind quoted James, “the anger of man does NOT achieve the righteousness of God!” (1:20). My husband did not sin when he called me, but I certainly did by imploding anger after the call was finished. Repentance, forgiveness, a new start, in that order. Cleansed. But how long will it be before something else happens? Probably as soon as I get behind the wheel of my car! Don’t turn up your nose–you’re right there with me.

We are not perfected yet, despite the standard the world wants to hold us to (which, of course, does not apply to them). We are “justified” (just as if we’ve never sinned), we are being “sanctified” every day (set apart from the world and having a daily cleansing), but we are not yet “glorified” (present with Jesus and with our new heart)! Oh, that we were already perfect! Like the bumper sticker says, “I’m not perfect, just forgiven!”

If your day is not spent letting the Holy Spirit convict you of activities, thoughts, attitudes, or reactions that cause a blemish on your soul, do some self-examining and make sure you’re on the right path! It doesn’t take much: just ask God to reveal any sin that needs confessing, and needs to be dealt with. He will! It will flash in your mind instantly! If nothing does, then sing a song of praise, and keep on keeping on!

You–The Only Christian Someone May Know!

Apr11

The man in the pew in front of me, and slightly to the left, opened his Bible when the pastor announced the Scripture he would be using as the basis of his message. I knew him to be a sweetheart of an older man, always with a kind word for everyone–or a teasing joke. He also was the chairman of the deacons. As he looked for the passage in the Old Testament, he eventually turned back to the index, found the page, turned to it, and then turned his attention to the sermon.

Have you ever had to go to the index, especially if the pastor tells you to turn to, perhaps, one of the “Minor” prophets? When my husband and I walked out of the service and headed home, we both felt the weight of discouragement that had come to us as we watched someone who was a “pillar” in that church show his unfamiliarity with his Bible. We did not judge his salvation, but his testimony to us, although unseen by others, definitely was tarnished that Sunday!

It’s a common quote in the church to hear someone tell you that “You may be the only Bible some people read!” Have you ever realized that old sayings become old sayings because there is so much truth in them? Mr. Phillips may not have realized anyone sitting near him would notice his insecurity in finding Habakkuk, but to not know your Bible possibly leaves open the question, “How well do you know your God?”

There are few who are in love who would destroy a letter that has come from their soul mate. Perhaps we don’t destroy the Bible, but if we leave it on the shelf or in the car, and pick it up on Sunday, we are losing the relationship that our God wants with us. Read Isaiah 1, and you’ll read a modern-day exegesis on America! (As well as the world!) God tells Israel (please excuse the loose paraphrase), “Your sacrifice (going to church on Sunday in order to ‘satisfy’ your debt to me) sickens me! You act so holy and righteous outwardly when at heart you are nothing but sinful people who would rather fit in with the world than know me!” As you read Isaiah 1, you will see God has nailed on the head the cities in America in this new millennium! If I stand near the door of my church and watch people flow in, I see the world coming in the door–where are the parents who check out their children before leaving home? Are slips no longer part of attire? How far down can a tee shirt go before it hits the navel? Skirts, pants, tops that look as though they are painted on! We have lost our shame.

But there is hope! God tells Israel–as He tells America–beginning in verse 16, to put away the things that divide the relationship with Him! Repent of the sins and let Him cleanse you! There is so much hope for the backslider or the person who once loved God with all their heart, but who now plays with the Smartphone during the service! Anything that you love more than you love God needs to be tossed aside, until He fills you with joy in the morning, hope throughout the day, and blessed rest at night!

Remember as you go about your day, that truly your actions will be watched by someone who wants to know if you are real, or if you are just like them: they can justify their lives if they see you, who calls yourself a Christian, doing the things they do. Set yourself apart, and stand alone. Show the love of Christ to them, don’t use the words they use, nor flirt with the world, but keep yourself holy–for HE is holy!

CLEANSE MY HEART, O GOD!

Sep25

One of my very favorite theologians is Dr. Harold Willmington of Liberty University. As Dr. Willmington speaks, he is constantly interspersing hymn lyrics from the very old favorites into his theme. This resonates strongly within me, as I was taught how to play the piano many, many years ago by an elderly woman who used the old Broadman Hymnal as her teaching guide! Every time Dr. Willmington begins a quote from a hymn, my mind jumps those barriers to silently quote it with him.

As I was pondering a very tough situation today, I kept thinking of the old hymn “Search me, O God, and know my heart today; try me, O Savior, and know my thoughts, I pray; see if there be some wicked way in me. Cleanse me from every sin, and set me free.” (James Orr, lyricist). Today I desperately needed that cleansing.

Had you asked me yesterday, I would have said I try to keep short accounts, and believed, to the best of my knowledge, that I harbor no grudges. Do I like everyone? No. But a continual grudge? I thought not.

Then, last evening an email came to me from my old hometown: it was the obituary of an aged man who was eulogized with the most flowery of terms, his good deeds enumerated in a lengthy, glowing tribute to his life. As I read the article, my mind went back to my young years, when I was as naive as anyone could possibly be. I was a student under this man’s leadership, and he took advantage of my innocence. Rape? No, he stopped short of that. The matter came before the principal, and the teacher was let go: the principal learned I was not the only student to have suffered at his hands.

As I read the obituary, suddenly all of the righteous indignation for his actions came swirling like fog around me! I realized I was almost enjoying the satisfaction that perhaps now he was getting his just due from God! I rebelled inside at the thought that perhaps he could have repented and be in heaven! It has been like a burr in my shoe during this day, as I realized I had unforgiveness for this man, and, because the situation had not been thought of in years and years, I was not aware that I had never repented of the hatred of having been this man’s victim. I found myself wanting to write those who had sent the message and let them know that while he was wearing his coat of good deeds, he was getting by with lascivious behavior!

Today I have had to pray diligently, Lord, please take this anger away from me, and melt my heart. I’ve done so many things that have hurt someone, how can I “throw stones”? After a long day of struggle, God has seen fit to ease my burden, to “cleanse me from [this] sin, and set me free!”

Was it a struggle? Definitely! In the flesh I did not want to give in and let him “get by” with what he had done. But my spirit is much more important than my flesh, and my heart deeply desires to be like Christ–repentance was my only option for peace.

Whatever your cross is, He will see that you are freed from the burden and will set your feet on ‘high places!’

“Father, thank you for bringing this to light. I did not even realize it was a problem, yet it was buried under the debris of living, and was deep in my heart. You had to shine Your light upon it, so that I could clearly see it, and let You deal with. I thank You for Your amazing grace that truly has replaced the animosity with Your peace. I will hang this on the cross, Lord, and pray this man came to know You before he died. Thank You for the cross, Lord! Amen.”

BITTER OR BETTER?

Aug9

Many years ago my friend’s sister was murdered. She was beautiful, smart, and the darling of four brothers and one other sister. Her murderer was soon found, tried, and sentenced to prison. Several months after the trial, the family was astounded and angered when the mother wrote a letter of forgiveness to the man who had been charged with the murder. They ostracized her, withdrew from her, and had nothing but wrath for her action. Nothing, they felt, was too bad for the man: he had taken their sister, and they wanted the death penalty.

Isn’t that so like us? When someone hurts us, wounds our family, or violates us somehow, we want revenge and nothing short of death will compensate for our loss! But if death comes to the person we have learned to hate, what then? Are we all of a sudden “okay” and our world is right again? Of course not! The bitterness is still there.

When we have something in our past that created years of misery for people we love, the sad truth is, no amount of apologizing can atone for the act, no matter how sorry we are! At that point we are faced with two types of people: those who are willing to forgive, and those who aren’t. Those, as it is said today, who lets the circumstance cause them to become “bitter” or “better!” Meanwhile, we live with the consequences every day.

How does this all tie in with our walk with Christ? Because the sin in our past so often alienates some of those that we love, and they want nothing to do with a God who will not continue to punish us; they want not just revenge, but vindictiveness that continues to hurt, just as they still carry scars or open wounds. Anything less, to them, will not satisfy. And we are rendered helpless in trying to tell them that He sees their unforgiving spirit and bitterness as just as brutal a sin as the one which we committed. We don’t want to alienate them further, so we keep quiet and watch the years roll by.

Oh, that they would come to know the grace and forgiveness of God! That they would understand the freedom in His forgiveness and cleansing free from sin! Can you get past the bitterness, and truly let go of it? If you are the bitter one, can you not see that it is hurting not only you, but everyone who is close to you? And would the death of the one who caused you misery make it “all better”? Try to open your heart to God’s healing forgiveness, so that you can be happy again! It won’t wipe away the years of scars, but it will begin a new day!

Dear Father, if anyone is reading this who has someone in their past that they have not forgiven, will You please help them to see that their unforgiveness creates a barrier between You and them? And if someone has wronged others, and is genuinely repentant, please send them peace while they wait as years go by, and don’t let them become weary in praying for those they wronged. Life is so difficult when we hurt, Lord, but we know that You–and You alone–can make us into new creations, and give us “hope, and a future”! Amen

If you are hurting today, and need someone to talk to, you are welcome to write a note to me!